Friday, January 24, 2014

man lots of snow this week.

Well we got a lot of snow Tuesday. We had to take my mom to the airport Tuesday afternoon and it stated snowing on the way there and it is like a two hour drive but it took us three hours to get there. We took my husband’s new car and we were slipping and sliding all over the place…it turns out he doesn’t have winter tires…he has summer performance tires. But my mom’s flight got delayed so she would miss her connection and have to stay the nite at that airport so instead we had her come stay at the hotel with us for the nite as we weren’t going to drive home while the snow was still falling. So she caught her flight first thing the next morning and we drove back home but all the streets were plowed and salted anyway. But when we got to our neighborhood it wasn’t plowed it was like an ice sheet and our drive way wasn’t shoveled so we got stuck in the drive way so we had to shovel the drive way so I didn’t go to work that day but base was closed anyway. And they still haven’t plowed our neighborhood yet so school has been canceled all week this week. I had to drive my husband to work today as he can’t take his car…he took the all wheel drive Subaru yesterday as my daughter didn’t need it. But she had class today so she took the Subaru today. so I have to pick my husband up from work today too. But it has been down in the single digits all week with wind chills in the negative temps. I am totally freezing to death and am sore as hell and just want to go home. I got like an hour and a half to go though but we can’t run today as it is too cold outside and our cell gets the temp of the outside air when we turn on the exhaust system and we got water pipes in there that we can’t freeze so we can’t run till next week anyway. So I haven’t been doing anything all day today and am bored as hell anyway. It is supposed to get in the high 30s to the low 40s tomorrow and Sunday so a lot of this snow will melt…there is like 4 inches of it out there anyway. And next week will be a bit warm most of the week though I think I saw two days next week going to be in the 20s…I am so tired of this cold weather…..we still have like 3 or 4 more months of this cold weather too…..i hate that….

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

part way into the new year....

Well the 6 baby guppies I got out of my 10 gallon a couple of months ago are just about adult size so I think I am going to give them to the pet store this weekend maybe….i don’t know for sure yet I might put them in my 30 gallon with my white clouds and neon tetras maybe. But the other day while my mom was here she said she saw three new baby guppies in the 10 gallon so I have to get those out this weekend too and put them in the 5 gallon. And one of the females in the 10 gallon looks pregnant too….and yes I am sure they are all females. I was googling it and it said female guppies can give birth several times after one mating …so there is no telling how many more babies I will have to contend with…I just hope none of them have like 100 babies in one litter…as they can have I guess….i really won’t know what to do with all of those babies anyway. Well it is finally a new year. I did not get a raise this year as my boss doesn’t think my engineering skills are good enough…but he said I would get cost of living but I haven’t seen it on my pay check yet and we get paid this Friday….so I am not sure congress even passed that we can get cost of living this year or what…I just don’t know. But the rest of my student loans are supposed to be coming due this year….one like in march and one like in may….one will be about 50 dollars a month and I think the other one is going to be like 400 or so a month. And I did not get a raise….and my husband just paid off the suburu to give to my daughter and he bought a new car so we have car payments now again this year too….i don’t know what we are going to do…I am pretty sure we pay extra on at least on credit card bill so we might just have to go to min payments from now on maybe…. Well now my daughter has her own car and me and my husband both have stick shifts now I am not sure what we are going to do for my son…he can get his permit here in a few more months….but we are going to have to teach him how to drive stick….and he won’t get a car of his own probly when he gets ready to go to college anyway. I am hoping we can buy him something….a cheapish beater even so he can drive around but we’ll see I guess. He is talking about going to a tech school for college so he might have to move out of the house right when he goes to college anyway….we’ll see I guess. He has the rest of this year then two more years of high school anyway. Man the engine we have been trying to run all week has had every single thing that could go wrong go wrong….right now we are waiting on word what to do now that we discovered scratches in the cylinder …. But it is already after 8 and there is no word yet….and I won’t be here tomorrow so I hope we hear something today anyway. We’ll see I guess. Man I have been sleeping like shit since sept and my psychiatrist wasn’t doing anything for me so I went and saw a new one Monday. Even she didn’t give me new sleeping pills like I am wanting…she gave me trazadone…which worked okay I guess….but I really want a new sleeping pill so I can get knocked out right at bed time rather than laying there for hours before I fall asleep…..i don’t know why none of these drs will just give me a new sleeping pill…I just don’t understand it at all…what is the big deal????? I am super frustrated anyway….but I took the tradzadone after dinner and by 8 pm I was really really tired but it still took maybe at least an hour before I fell asleep anyway. But I slept through the nite finally and did not want to get up today….i slept in really late today and got here late but I knew nothing was going to be going on today anyway so I didn’t really care. I won’t be here tomorrow so I can have a 5 day weekend to spend some more time with my mom until she flies back to Idaho Tuesday. So I can sleep in tomorrow at least anyway. But man I am tired…..i just really need to get some good sleep….maybe I can catch up this weekend I guess. I don’t know we’ll see……. Christ this day is dragging….since we are waiting on word what to do next I don’t have anything to do and I am bored out of my mind…I am tired as hell and starting to get sore too….i will be late for lunch as we have to make a phone call at 11 which is usually what time I go to lunch anyway….i guess if I remember I will take pain killers when I get home I suppose…it’s about 40 mins till 11 now. I have been hanging out back smoking and chit chatting most of the morning….but this day is just dragging and I still got to be here till 4 after lunch too…I might take off at three thirty though if we are not testing this afternoon anyway…I still haven’t gotten any guidance about what to do next with the shitty engine either. And they are chomping at the bit for us to get engines out…but my hands are tied…I can’t control when we have engine issues and if no one gets back to me then we aren’t running…so it isn’t my fault anyway.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

woohoo xmas eve : )

Well I was planning on running engines today but the mechanics boss said he didn’t want to disturb our facilities guy at home on xmas eve….he has to turn the exhaust on in the cell …he can do it from home too. So no running today anyway….i have been working a bit on this report but don’t really feel like working on it anymore right now…no one is doing anything today at all…all the mechanics are sitting around talking and some of them are leaving for the day at lunch today. I am going to mcdonalds for lunch today so I hope they don’t screw up my order….i got about an hour till lunch time anyway. I just don’t know what to do for the time being. If no one else is doing anything today I don’t know why I should be working today….i didn’t do much yesterday either….i got a little bit left on this report to do but I guess I will do it after lunch then anyway…..the commander gave the bosses permission to give us a 59 today but we never ever get one when he does so I don’t know that we will today or not…..and we are supposed to get one new year’s eve too….so we will see about that too I guess. I am just so fed up with work really I wish I could find a new job…..but there is nothing here…we would have to move if I could even get a new job…and I don’t want to displace my son from high school… I am stuck here for at least 4 more years or so depending on where he goes to college after high school anyway. That sucks the big one really…I hate it here so much…management just doesn’t realize and or care about moral around here at all….. Ok mcdonalds didn’t screw up my order today…so that was good…. I have been thinking about getting a dish soap for a face soap to have triclosan for my face…the soap I am using now used to have it but they took out a while back and I didn’t realize it…but I have been breaking out like crazy since then anyway. But I found a face soap with triclosan on amazon today. It is a bar soap but it is cetaphil brand so it will be gentle and not dry out my skin like maybe a dish soap might do anyway. It was 20 bucks for a 6 pack…which is kinda spendy for face soap but it will be worth it if it cuts back on my break outs…I am so frustrated by this ..i am almost 41 and still getting pimples it makes me mad! Oh man I just bumped into my boss and he told me I can leave at noon today!!!! How awesome is that…that is in like 40 mins anyway. I can go home and wrap my husband’s xmas present and then kick back and maybe read or something…I am not tired like yesterday so I don’t need a nap at all. But today would have been a great day for a nap….woohooo….maybe a repeat of this on new year’s eve???? Probly not but you never know.

Monday, December 23, 2013

been a while since i blogged

Well it’s almost the new year. Things have been busy and going by fast. Work keeps me busy every day running engines anyway. We are not running today as I gotta put the last edits in my report today anyway. Then I gotta email it out to people but my boss won’t be here after xmas so I gotta ask him what to do with it tomorrow anyway. The program manager might have some edits for me too….but I am hoping not anyway. My daughter got a job at texas road house and started working last week. She pretty much works every day but Tuesdays and Thursdays as that was when she was having classes last semester. So depending on her schedule next semester will determine when she works then. Sunday they sent everyone home early as they were really slow. So she only worked two hours that day. she had a fancy xmas party this weekend and made her first turkey. It turned out really well. But only 3 out of 8 people actually came to her party though. So she was a bit upset about that….but every time we have ever had a party no one comes to ours either…. So it’s just a curse on our family I guess…I don’t know. My son is doing well. He is out of school for xmas break right now. He has been doing nothing but watching tv and playing video games anyway….which I think will be his whole vacation I guess. He is doing much better in school this year too. He got As and Bs for last semester anyway. Which makes me happy. As the end of last year he was failing like 4 classes but brought all but one class up before the year was over anyway. He just wasn’t doing his homework last year. But we check the online site every day now and make sure he is doing his homework. I finally got my guppy babies in a tank of their own and I feed them three times a day so they are growing pretty fast. I think they are about half way to being the size of an adult now. I am still not sure what I am going to do with them when they are grown up anyway. I might put them in the 30 gallon with my neon tetras and white clouds anyway. If I do then I can put all my guppies in there and I can tear down the 10 gallon tank maybe. Though it has a ton of snails in there and I am not sure what to do with them…I guess if I felt like it I could sift through all that gravel and put them in the other tank too….but there is no telling how long that project would take…maybe an hour or more…there is like 10 lbs of gravely in there…the light plastic kind so they are tiny pieces. I don’t know we’ll see I guess. I just don’t know what I want to do anyway. I got time to think about it though. Well I didn’t really get out of the intern program after my five years like I was supposed to ….they changed everything around now I gotta do two years in a journey man program…I am not happy about that at all….i will be about the only one who will have to do 7 years in the this stupid training shit…that pisses me off…then I had my end of year review and did not get a raise this year as my boss doesn’t think my technical skills are where they should be right now….so I told him why did he put me in a test that has no technical stuff to do and he said he has a plan for that…so I don’t know what will be going on there anyway….but I busted my butt last year on my project and my midyear review he said he was liking the hard work I was putting in…then suddenly the end of the year that just wasn’t good enough….man that ticked me off to no end….i get a cost of living increase though which he said should be about 1%....but my student loans are supposed to be coming due this year so I am not sure if we will have the money to cover those…I gotta check up on that at the end of this week anyway. I am hoping I can defer them one more year but I won’t know till after I apply which I will do here soon anyway. Man the last time I saw my psych was the first week of dec and he took me off of one of my medications that is supposed to help me sleep so I have been sleeping like crap…I am so tired today…I am just dragging ass every day really…I see the new psych in jan so I am hoping she will at least give me a new sleeping pill like I have been wanting since sept but no one will seem to give me one for some crazy reason….that is something else that is pissing me off too….i just don’t understand it at all…. My mom is coming up to visit us around the second week of jan and will be here for two weeks. I will only have enough leave to take one day off but I will do it the week we have a four day weekend and then I will at least have 5 days off to spend it with her anyway…not that I know what we will do but we can hang out and visit anyway. Man this weekend and today the temps has been in the high 60s…it was almost 70 Sunday. But it is supposed to cool down at bunch today but it is still very warm out there right now. They have called for snow a few times and we haven’t gotten any. But one nite it rained and snowed and my car was frozen shut the next day. I had to get my husband out to help me open my car. He used his ice scraper to pry my door while I pulled….then I had to warm up my car for like 20 mins or so cuz scraping just wasn’t working …it was super frozen snow. But it has been raining the past two days too…so though warm it wasn’t too nice anyway. I finally got windows 7 at work. I haven’t been having issues with my computer until today. I tried to open a word doc and got some errors…I tried to end program but windows wouldn’t end it….it was telling me it was trying to find a solution…whatever that means…so I was waiting and waiting and finally just closed task manager and everything closed after that. Then when I tried to open it was saying something was wrong and did I really want to open it and I said yes anyway. But I am not liking windows 7 at all….it just messes up everything.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

tuesday's blog

Well I still can’t blog from work…again….i get some kind of error and I try to log in something about gecko1_8…. I couldn’t find much about it on the internet other than people telling people they need to reprogram their browswer…which I can’t do from work….i will try tonite and if it is broken there then I don’t know what to do…maybe start a new blog????? But if it is an issue with blogger then I guess not…..


Man I didn’t do anything yesterday so I really gotta get some work done today.  It’s nearly 8 now I will get started around 9 I guess.  Till then I am not sure what to do…I can’t post blogs….i can’t get to the fish forum either I get a network error when I try to go there….and that is about all I do all day when I am goofing off so now I need to think of something else to do to goof off at work and I am not sure what anyway….


My daughter’s second job interview it today I hope it goes well and she gets the job but I told her waitressing is a terrible job…as you are on your feet all day and if the order gets messed up the waitress takes the brunt of the issue…though it might  not be the waitress’s fault anyway.  And she didn’t stick with her last job long and that was an easy job so I hope she stays with this one but we’ll see I guess.  Her psychiatrist took her off her antidepressants so she has her appetite back but she insists she is doing fine even though she broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago and she has seemed depressed from that….we’ll see how she does anyway.  She also says she isn’t getting much if any anxiety lately either so maybe she is getting better…I wish I was getting better.  She wants to have a fancy dinner party for xmas this year and I am a bit against it.  We only have 6 seats in the kitchen so I am not sure where everyone would sit….


Well I have been running around again all morning….i guess I can get to my report this afternoon I suppose.  I really don’t feel like it but I gotta get it done….man mcdonalds put cheese on my chicken sandwich two times in a row now. It is not supposed to have cheese on it so I think the guy making the sandwiches doesn’t know that or something.  If it was a different kind of cheese I wouldn’t mind but it is swiss and I hate swiss cheese.


I am so so so tired the last two days….i just wish I could take a nap or get better sleep one of the two if not both. But I can’t take a nap no matter how tired I am without some sleeping pills and I am out till next week anyway.  It doesn’t help with my motivation at all I can tell you that.  All I want to do is sleep…..


Man I have had my bifocals for about three weeks now I think and it is still taking me time to get used to them…I am just used to holding my head up a bit higher when I sit down.  So everything is blurry looking through that bifocal lens.  However you spell that….it tells me lense is not a word though I thought that is how you spell it…this program is terrible…most of the time when I write the word from it wants me to change to form…that really bugs me. 


I don’t know that I can work again today ….we’ll see I guess I am just do damn tired right now…I went to bed at 830 last nite and it took me hours to fall asleep and even then it was an unfitfull sleep too.  Just not deep enough….always waking up to look at the clock….waking up way too early and not being able to go back to sleep at all…it is just a terrible time for me lately with sleep issues.  I hope every day that that nite will be a better nite….but it only seems to get worse anyway….

Well I guess I will mail this to my yahoo and post it tonite if I remember….

monday's blog

Well last week when we were doing our special testing on Wednesday and Thursday we had pretty much everything that could go wrong go wrong on Thursday.  The blower controller quit working so we had to bypass that.  We are waiting on a new controller now.  The ignition module went bad so we had to swap that out.  And the throttle wire went kaput.  This is a wire with a special connector that we don’t have or the tools for it either so we are waiting on them to make us a couple of new ones so we have a back up anyway.  So we are down for  now…I hope not more than a few days but we’ll see I guess.  The mechs are supposed to be doing the cell upgrades but the guy with the plan is out today so they are just cleaning instead.  If my lead engineer knew he might not be too happy about that…..


I guess I can take this down time and get some paper work done. I got data to input into the computer and a report to finish up anyway…pppbbbtttt….nothing I want to be doing anyway.


This weekend was just blah….Saturday I ran a couple of errands to get some water and beer.  Sunday I did the laundry while my husband went to his boss’s house for the foot ball game.  So I just watched a bunch of tv.  The past couple of weeks there has been a lot of stuff about JFK on the tv I have been watching most of that anyway.


I was supposed to get the stuff for the baby guppies this weekend too but didn’t I am waiting till payday this weekend anyway. With my daughter’s tuition due we didn’t really have the extra money anyway.  We keep forgetting to look for plane tickets for my mom to come up in jan….we really need to do that before they get  to spendy anyway.  Maybe I should put a note in my phone perhaps.


My daughter had a job interview last week at longhorn steak house I think it was.  She said it went well and she goes back for a second one this week.  She said she has to learn how to line dance as the wait staff does it for entertainment at the restaurant ….


She was out of town this weekend visiting a friend at her college and she found a stray cat with a broken leg and wanted to bring it home….i told her no way to take to the vet and tell them it isn’t your cat or they would charge us….so she did that and I guess the  break was too bad to fix so they put the cat down.  I was afraid that would happen but didn’t  tell her that anyway.  I don’t see why they just couldn’t remove the leg that seems what they usually do but since it was a stray they just put it to sleep.  I feel terrible about it but there is no way we could afford to take on a cat that needed medical help…plus that I don’t think my cat would be too happy about that either.  It was a light colored tabby that was really grungy and skinny.  She said they fed it some food and it was really hungry.  They should have given it some water …..


Man since we are down for a few days I was thinking about  taking a sick day…I should have picked today.  I have a terrible headache and my neck hurts and I am having super painful gas right now….i am just falling apart right now.  And I am super unmotivated today as well….i didn’t do much this morning but run around for a couple of things …but this afternoon will be quiet so I am wondering if I want to work or just goof off for the day….like I said I am super unmotivated and in a lot of pain right now anyway.  At least it is almost lunch time….


Well lunch is over with…I had corn dogs at home….but I am not feeling any more motivated than I did this morning so I guess I will be goofing off all day today…it’s been weeks since I have been able to goof off at work as I am always testing engines every single day….i am so burned out this little break will do me good.  I am going to be having a lot of 4 and 3 and 2 day weeks till after the new year so that will help a lot also…we won’t get many engines done I guess but I don’t really care about that really….i still haven’t had my end of year review with my boss but somehow I don’t think he is going to be doing it …..nov is already half over with anyway…and by his comments in my assessment I am sure I am going to get a low score this time and I am pissed about it as I worked just as hard these past few months that I did last half of the year and I got a good score then….plus I am not getting my promotion raise which ticks me off to no end as well…..i got kicked into staying in the intern program another two years and that pisses me off too….it’s just not fair….i hate this place with a passion….


Man my desk is a total mess I really need to file a lot of this paper work big time.  But with testing all the time I don’t really have the time….and I certainly don’t feel like it right now either.  And for at least another day or two I will be doing paper work so I won’t have time then either.  Whatever I guess… least I know what piles have what papers in them anyway.


Man I have been sleeping like hell since sept and the past week has been even worse.  I keep waking up around 430 and can’t go back to sleep at all…I thought for sure I would sleep in this weekend till like 10 or 11 but I got up at 8 both days…so I am so so so tired right now….this week is going to be ruff if I can’t start sleeping better….i don’t see this new psychiatrist till jan sometime….i don’t know if I can go on not sleeping till that long…I just don’t know what on earth to do really…..but I am just so tired and it looks like it is not going to get any better any time soon.


Oh damn it I can’t blog today…..there is some sort of error when I try to log in…I guess I will have to email this home to see if I can post there ….. man I hate nmci that is the computer people we use at work….i think it stands for navy marine corp internet or something like that anyway…..i also can’t go to the fish forum at work anymore either I get an error trying to go there too…..well that leaves me really with nothing to do at all right now…..this sucks….

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

back to work after a 4 day weekend.... : (

Well it was a nice long 4 day weekend and I didn’t do much at all really except watch tv….though I slept like crap all weekend and I am really tired today….and it is super cold here today and my legs and feet are icy and stiff.  I can feel the cold radiating off of them right now….and my back is starting to hurt a bit from the cold….it’s going to be a long terrible winter with lots of pain and stiffness as they are keeping the temp at 68 this winter….so when it is like in the 30s out  there it will be much colder than 68 in here….

My daughter broke up with her boyfriend a couple weeks back and now she isn’t eating and sleeping a lot more….i told her to tell her psychiatrist maybe she can up her meds maybe….but over the last couple of months  she has lost about 10 lbs because of  the meds she is on.  She is either going to have to live with that or switch meds which I don’t think is a good idea as so far all the ones she has been on have caused her issues anyway…except for what she is on now though.  I don’t think she can lose much more weight but we’ll see I guess.  She is just a smidgeon taller than me and used to weigh what I weighed.  Now she is down to the 90s anyway.

Work is the same old same old.  We are doing some special testing tomorrow and Thursday to try and figure out what the problem that they are having in the field with these engines. Apparently they are using a ton more fuel than they are supposed to anyway.  So we have some things we can test and see what the issue is anyway.

Well none of my fish have died the past two weeks…so I am doing okay so far with them. I was getting a new set up for the guppy babies but didn’t get around to it anyway…next weekend I guess. They still haven’t grown much and I think they are about a month old now if not older anyway.  They should be about adult size right now but they are super tiny.

It’s 2 and we are done running for the day…I have some paper work to do right now but don’t want to do it…..i think I might sneak out of here early maybe…I am so cold and stiff and getting more sore by the min….my ankle really hurts right now and my back….i hate this cold so much…..

Thursday, November 7, 2013

yesterday's post....

Well work is the same old same old…we got told not to run this afternoon so people can work outside behind our cell.  And I have a meeting at 2….but nothing is improving around here at all and I am still in a foul mood anyway.

Tomorrow nite my son has to stay after at his tech class till 730 at nite to work on a project I guess.  I put it in my phone so I will remember to go pick him up : ) otherwise I am sure I would forget.

I am still looking around for a fish to put in my new tank anyway….i emailed the fish place to see if they can help me out anyway.  I was thinking an angel fish but they are slightly aggressive and I am not sure if they would kill my other fish or not…if he does then I am going to have to get rid of him I guess.  I am sure the pet store in the other town over would take him but I don’t think petco in my town would take him. But they did say they would take my guppies…but they are like almost a month old and haven’t grown anyway.  I am getting them a separate tank this weekend and moving them to there.  It says to feed them like 8 times a day but all I will get in is two or three times a day depending on  if I go home for lunch or not anyway…..and I have no idea if there are any males in the batch…I tried to check but it looks to me they might all be females but I am not sure.

I guess this afternoon I gotta put data up on the internet and maybe work on my fixing up my report a bit maybe….my lead engineer gave me his corrections now I gotta go in and put them in I guess…..then I can give it to my boss to look over anyway.

Still not sleeping well and having lots of nite mares recently too…I never remember then when I get up in the morning but they wake me up in the nite….i am really getting tired of this whole sleeping business….and I can’t get in to the new psychiatrist till jan sometime anyway…..  it’s been over a month and I am still not sleeping well.

Well it’s one oclock right now and I am totally unmotivated….we are going to be down most if not all of next week so I guess I can put my data up then and work on my report then….i guess it just depends on what they say during the meeting this afternoon anyway.  I am just so friggin tired and wiped out….i tried to take a nap yesterday but couldn’t fall asleep as work issues were just running through my mind over and over again….

Monday, November 4, 2013

oh boy not ready for this week at all.....

Well this weekend was a bust…I didn’t do anything I was planning on doing.  We just laid around most of the time.  But I did go get 5 more neon tetras for my big tank. Now I have 8 white clouds and 9 tetras.  I am not sure if I am going to get more or not though the tank calculator says if I got more I wouldn’t be over stocked. I was thinking long finned white clouds but they are over 12 bucks a piece so that is a no go….maybe  I can find a large compatible fish for like a jewel in my tank….i would have to do some research on that I guess…

We gotta do the alternator run on this last engine this morning but the mechanics are sitting on their butts right now doing nothing.  Once that test is done we gotta put a new engine on and start running that one.  Hopefully we can get started soon anyway.

Well I did some googling…I found a couple of other fish I could get to put in my tank one special piece is a type of rainbow fish that gets like 3 inches and is colorful as all the rest of my fish won’t get much over 1 inch anyway.  But this fish I want is out of stock so I put in for an email alert when there is one available anyway…and it is also like 14 bucks but I would only get one maybe two as specialty species in my tank anyway.

Well I got my bifocals Friday…I luv them except it is a bit weird to drive and walk as when I walk I look at my feet and with my glasses on it is right through the bifocal so it is blurry and when I drive I crane my neck up so I can see over the steering wheel and that makes me look right through the bifocal and is blurry…so now it is going to take me a while to figure out how to walk and drive with these things on I guess….but at least I can see to text and do my cross stitch….

Man not only am I on the worst test in the building I got the worst mechanics too…they had to put the alternator on this morning and finally did but now when I want to run they just won’t….they are sitting surfing the internet and eating ….. I sat back there for 15 mins trying to get them to get started but got nothing….it’s technically break time now so I guess I will go back there again in about 30 mins as that is how long they take breaks for and it just makes me so mad…..and lunch is an hour and they take like an hour and a half…they get back in an hour but they sit around on their computers for another 30 mins before I can get them started.  If I complained to my boss about it he would tell their boss about it and they would get in trouble and I just don’t want to get anyone in trouble but I just wish they were better anyway…..i am just not in a good mood today…but that has been true for a long time now…..

Well we finally started running around 9ish this morning.  Now they gotta take this engine down and put a new one up when lunch is over with….no telling how long that will take as I am not sure when after lunch they will be motivated to work anyway…..

Friday, November 1, 2013

sorry i haven't been blogging much i am super busy at work lately

Well work is just going from bad to worse every day.  My mood is the lowest it’s been and I just don’t want to be here at all…but for the next two and a half months there is mostly 4 day weeks and at least one three day week plus some vacation time I am taking anyway.  So that will be nice…..

All of my glo fish are dead again.  I am not getting any more.  I think I will get some other small colorful fish…like long tailed white clouds they are a bit purplish in color anyway.  I was reading the net about glo fish and there is a lot of stuff out there about glo fish dying….they just aren’t hardy fish…I wouldn’t recommend them at all.

I really don’t know what else to say really…..we can’t test this morning cuz they want to work out back behind the cell this morning so we won’t run till after lunch today anyway.  My boss and his boss are not happy that we aren’t making our engine quota each week…but with all the shortened weeks and holidays there is no way we can do four engines a week.  I don’t think we can even on a full 5 day week either there is a lot of hours that go into getting these out of the box to back  in the box…I think at best we can get three and maybe 3 and a half done a week maybe.  But they are thinking about doing overtime but I talked to the mechanics and none of them want to do overtime and neither do i…. so if we can’t find mechanics to do it then it is a mute point anyway.

I just haven’t been happy now for the past 6 or 7 weeks anyway….and I sleep like crap…the past two nites I have been waking up in the nite all nite.  so getting up in the mornings is killing me anyway…..i have a terrible headache today due to all this politics about running our engines….and I have been getting headaches regularly since I started running these engines…I really need to bring some pain killers to work with me.

But I am so burned out from being terribly busy all day long at work.  And I can’t take any sick days as I don’t have the leave for it and I don’t wanna take regular leave as I am saving up to take some time off over the holidays anyway.  So I just have to stick it out here for the rest of the year anyway….blahhhhh…..

Oh I don’t know if I said but the female guppies I bought a while back one of them had babies…at first I thought it was only four but now I see 5 in there anyway.  They are about three weeks old now I guess but they are not getting big at all…they seem like the same size they were when they were first born…..i was reading it says you should put them in some warmer than usual water and feed them a variety of food 8 times  a day but then you have to clean the tank every day because of that.  I might move them to their own tank and maybe feed them three times a day but with only flake food anyway.  Last time I went to the pet store to see about getting them their own tank I priced everything out to be a little over 100 dollars to get everything I need to do it anyway.  Maybe next payday I will do that.  But I have to build a trap and trap them first …..i have an empty water bottle on my night stand waiting for me to make it into a trap but I haven’t done it yet anyway…….

Oh the project manager just got back to me and said no to overtime….so I will forward that to everybody and be a bit happier anyway.  : )

Well last week I went back to the eye dr to get fitted for bifocals.  The lenses came in today so I have to be there by 4 to get them put in my glasses. I am so happy I will be able to see now…and I can get back to work on my cross stitch too… hurray : )

Oh man my arthritis is  killing me today….i am not sure why it is not too cold out maybe high 60s but it is super cloudy and supposed to rain sometime today…so maybe that is why.  I will take some pain killers at lunch I guess.

Man I ate a snack about an hour ago and am hungry again already.  At least I can leave for lunch in about a half an hour anyway…..

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

once again yesterday's blog....

Well blogger at work is making me crazy it doesn’t work half the time…so here is yesterday’s blog….

Well work has gone from bad to worse to even more worse…..i went to my psychiatrist two times to get a new sleeping pill and all he did was up my dose of my other meds which didn’t do anything. I made an appt with my daughter’s psychiatrist but I can’t get in till jan….i hope my sleep levels out by then but I am not sure it will anyway.  First I got taken off my projects before they were done to do a project no one else in the building likes….then I got told I am not getting out of the intern program like I was supposed to and not getting a raise after being here for 5 years….that really pisses me off we need a raise big time…my student loans are coming due next year…..then I went on line to see if my boss put his comments in to my end of year assessment and he did and they were all bad comments….man if I could I would totally quit and leave this place high and dry….i am so ticked off and depressed I can’t take it……

Anyway I cleaned my fish tank this weekend and after I cleaned it two fish died…right away….what the heck would have caused that????? I just don’t know….and I think there is one more fish stuck to the filter intake as well I am going to have to take it out tonite when I get home. But I bought more fish…the golden white clouds and so far none of them have died they are pretty hardy…it’s the glow fish that die off like crazy they just aren’t very hardy at all….somewhere I wrote down a list of hardy fish to buy for the tank and now I can’t find it….my desk is a pig sty with sticky notes everywhere.  I am not sure but I think it was tiger barbs but at the same time I don’t think that is write either.  Maybe cherry barbs….maybe something else entirely. I guess I can google it again I suppose.

But I have been so busy I just don’t have time to blog…we ran all day and are finally done and I am getting out of here early today I think…my boss’s door is open but the light is off so I am not sure where he could be anyway.

Oh man the internet is being a pain I might not get this blog posted today….it might have to wait till tomorrow morning….but I am leaving in like half an hour so  I will try later I guess.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

yesterday's blog

Well I tried to blog yesterday but the page wouldn’t load so here is yesterday’s blog….

 Man I opened this document and it took like 3 mins to open up and load….the doesn’t bode well for the day….

Anyway it is cold as hell outside today.  It’s only 65 in my cube right now.  I have long johns on under my pants and regular shirt a sweat shirt my hoodie and my heavy coat….but my legs still feel cold.  My husband told me that LLBean has jeans with flannel on the inside… I might look up some of those maybe  and get at least one pair…if they come in women’s and if they come in my size anyway.  We’ll see I guess.

The weekend was short and terrible I was in a terrible mood all weekend dreading coming back here.  At least I slept pretty good anyway…I hope I can do that during the week this week.  I didn’t clean my fish tanks again and really need to…I guess I can do it when I get home from work tonite. It only takes about an hour anyway.  The baby guppies are still alive…I saw another one in there yesterday so that makes 5…they are still super little but the pet store said once they get bigger they would take them off my hands anyway.  But guppies can start having babies at 4 weeks old so I hope they get big enough before then so I don’t get more babies anyway.  I didn’t get a separate tank for them as all the supplies I would need would cost a bit over 100 dollars….but if I end up having more babies then I will get a separate tank and then keep it around for a quarantine tank anyway.  I put snails in all the tanks and can see them in all but the goldfish tank….i read goldfish will eat them so I wonder if they got eaten maybe…I just don’t know.

I just don’t want to be here today…I have some paper work I gotta get going on here soon to get to my boss when he comes in around 8….and then I gotta get back to my report anyway….i am just not happy and not in a good mood what so ever…..

Well I got my paper work filled out and signed …. Now I just gotta take it to the coordinator but I haven’t heard back from him yet today at all…he might not be in today maybe….

Well I looked at LL Bean and their flannel lined pants come in the smallest size 4…which I am a size 2 but according to their size chart size 4 should fit me…but I highly doubt that…..cold water creek’s clothes ran bigger than their size chart claimed…I guess the worst thing is I can order a pair and if they are too big get my money back I guess.

I forgot to use my nose spray today and the humidity is in the high 80s so my sinuses are runny like crazy and my ear keeps getting clogged up.  I will take my nose spray when I get home for lunch and take some pseudo fed too I think.  With such high humidity I doubt my nose spray would have been to effective anyway.  It’s almost lunch time now..i am starting to get hungry….i am heading home for lunch today but my husband won’t be able to make it he has a meeting at 11 with some big wigs so I won’t see him until after work tonite I guess….

Well I went home for lunch to take some meds for my sinuses and then went to mcdonalds to eat. I hate being at home during lunch when no one is there.  I think the pseudo fed is kicking in as my ear seems fine now but my sinuses are still a little runny anyway…..

It was 65 in here first thing this morning now it is 73 so I had to take my heavy coat off.  But now without it I am a bit chilly…but with it on I was sweating…. 

We aren’t starting back to testing till around 130 and it is about noon now.  I am not sure what to do for the next hour and a half anyway.  I just don’t want to be here anyhow.  I can’t access the fish forum from work anymore…I get a communications error but I can access from my phone but I just can’t post from my phone and  I am not sure why.  the box pops up for me to type in but it won’t scroll down to the bottom to the publish button….i have been wanting to post since I found my baby guppies…I guess I will have to do it from home or something.

Sighhhh….i don’t know what to do right now…..i should have stayed home and took a nap or something…even though I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway…..oh now I am getting a headache and I have nothing at work for that and all everybody else has is motrin which I am allergic to anyway….i really need to bring a stock pile of meds in to work to have around when I need them….but I don’t carry my purse anymore and all that stuff is in my purse.  My massage therapist was telling me it was back for my shoulders to carry that heavy purse around all the time…so I just leave it at home now.

I see the eye dr again this Friday …. I am getting bifocals this time come hell or high water…I am tired of not being able to see…glasses on glasses off …’s just blurry both ways…when trying to text or read…and I absolutely can’t see super fine print at all…I don’t know if bifocals help with that or if I will need a magnifying glass or what but we’ll see I guess.

Friday, October 18, 2013

friday at last.... : )

Oh man my snails came last nite.  I put one spoon full in the 10 gallon tank and one spoon full in the goldfish tank and all the rest in the big 30 gallon with my glo fish and my neon tetras.  But while I was inspecting the snails in the 10 gallon tank I saw something small slither across the bottom of the tank and thought I had parasites…it turned out to be a baby guppy….i counted 4 of them out in the open swimming along the bottom.  About a month ago I bought 3 female guppies to put in with my two female mollies in the 10 gallon….but I read somewhere all female guppies come pregnant …well I guess it is true because now I have at least 4 babies….but the bigger fish don’t seem to have any gumption to eat the babies and they were swimming right in front of them too.  If they survive and get bigger I am going to have to separate the males from the females so I don’t get any more babies…the 10 gallon can’t hold that many fish anyway.  But they are so cute and so tiny maybe like a 10th of inch long or so…very small.  I wish I could  catch them now and put them in something separate till they got bigger anyway.  But I would have to buy a new tank…a small one and figure out how to catch them somehow anyway.

Well doing some research on guppies I guess they can start breeding when they are a month old.  I have no idea how old these babies are…they could be new born or a week old I don’t know.  But trying to google how to make a trap to catch them are all you tube videos and I can’t watch them at work so I will have to do it when I get home tonite I guess.  But this weekend I will go buy a separate tank to put them in…I think a 5 gallon that is all set up already…I have no idea how fast they will grow and how soon I can tell male from female.  I am not sure if I want to keep them or see if the pet store will take them off my hands anyway.  I don’t think they will take them when they are this small though.

Well once again no motivation to get anything done around here. But I am working late tonite anyway. My son didn’t have school today it is a teacher work day I guess.  So I can stay as late as I need to….but it’s almost 9 I think I will start working here in a few mins anyway.  I am just glad it is Friday anyway…..

Well I worked on my report a bit this morning…once I got going I was on a roll it is just getting started on it that is giving me trouble.  I still have two sections to go plus all the appendix stuff to put in there as well.  I think I will stay late tonite to see how far I get.  It is a three oclock day but I might stay till 5…or at least till I can get this third section done anyway.  We are running an engine in an hour and I think we will be done around 2 or 230 anyway… the mechanics have to shut the cell off for the weekend and that takes some time anyway.  I went to subway for lunch and was only gone thirty mins…I had a meat ball was good anyway.

But now I got an hour to kill and not sure what to do till then anyway.  There is another book out in this series I am reading …the noble dead….and I am not done with the two I have in my kindle right now.  I just haven’t been reading for months now but I read a little while last nite before bed anyway.  The plot to this book is very convoluted and somewhat hard to follow also because of the insane names all the characters are called. I can’t pronounce any of them so I forget which character is which when I am reading about them…who are the good guys who are the bad guys and so forth….

Man I am so tired right now I did not want to get out of bed again today….i wasn’t as late today as I was yesterday but I was late….i could have slept all morning today…and I would really luv a nap but I can never sleep at nap time unless I have all my sleeping pills which I am out of half of them right now…and can’t refill till like the end of the month or so…..and I still gotta get that upped dose of ativan filled too which I haven’t done yet as I have a half a bottle still of that at home right now anyway.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

one more day down and one to go....

Well I tracked my snails they should show up at my house sometime today.  And I think one more fish died but I am not certain anyway.  I was going to clean the tanks yesterday but took a nap instead so I guess I will be cleaning tonite then.

My sinuses and ear are bugging me today. I thought for sure this nose spray would take care of it but it isn’t really. It sort of is though, my ear doesn’t stay clogged for a long time it just gets clogged up for a second then clears up.   But it is distracting me like crazy right now.

It’s 930 now and I haven’t accomplished much today.  I really gotta get working on this report but I have no motivation or desire to do it at all……I was going to get up early and go get starbucks on the way to work but changed my mind when my alarm went off and I reset it and then when it went off again I turned it off and fell back to sleep and didn’t get up till my husband came up stairs to get ready for work….so I was really late today I didn’t get here till 8 anyway.

Well my snails are either at the house already or will be there soon. The last update was out for delivery at 1030 in town.  So it depends where we are on the route I guess….

I think we are done testing for the day but I am not too sure.  They guys gotta pull this engine we just finished off the stand and put a new on one and they gotta refill the fuel tanks too….so that could take the rest of the day anyway. I worked on my report some but don’t feel like working on it again right now anyway.  I had to pull a drawing out and open it in paint and makes some corrections on it anyway.  That took forever.

Man I wish I didn’t have to pick my son up from club today I would totally go home and take another nap…I did yesterday but I think I only slept like 20 mins …pppbbbbtttt…not much at all.  I still have to go get that higher dose of xanex filled still too and haven’t done that yet either. I have enough right now in my bottle at half dose and can just take two of  those for now anyway.

Man I hate this place so much I don’t want to be here at all…..i have a headache and I am in a terrible mood every day….my neck hurts right now and I am just so worn out….i really need to find some way to get motivated around here….but there is just nothing anyway……I am super unhappy right now.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

not the best 5 day weekend

Well I wish it could have been a bit better of a weekend but it was not.  I did some kind of chores every day anyway.  And I only got two naps the whole 5 days.  I watched the fourth season of arrested development that is exclusively on Netflix anyway.  Just as funny as I remember.

I went to see my psychiatrist and once again he did not want to change my meds this time he just uped my ativan anyway… I think I am going to look around for a new dr anyway….all I want is to get some sleep and that is just not happening at all.

Man the last two days I have had terrible trouble being able to see up close and see the computer as well….i really need bifocals.  I am going to call the eye dr when they open and see if I can get in to get fitted for them and see if they can just give me new lenses for these glasses I have as I bought then there in the first place anyway.

Well the power went out for a bit but computers still worked only no email or internet…now the power is back on but still no email or internet…..i am super duper not in the mood to be here at all….i have just totally had it with this place and don’t give a shit about anything work related anymore.

I made an appt with my daughters psychiatrist but I can’t get in till jan.  all I want is a new sleeping pill and my guy won’t give me one…he just upped my xanex…..all I need is a new sleeping pill to knock me out like a rock and I can get some sleep finally….i also made an appt for next week to get bifocals…I just can’t go on without them…I can’t see anything up close at all with my glasses on I have to take them off and even then hold whatever it is super close to my face to see it….it is bugging the heck out of me…..

Well I made some appts this morning and did some other junk….now it’s after lunch and we are not running as we are having issues with the power going out. They are trouble shooting it now but I am sure we won’t run at all today anyway.  I am a tad over heated in my heavy coat right now as we don’t have heat….so no cold air is blowing in here….long story so it is 72 and I am hot …..if the heat was working it would 68 in here right now…god I got lots to do and have no motivation to get any of it done at all I just hate it here now so bad I can’t stand it.  My boss is out all week so it doesn’t matter when I come and go I guess…though running in the afternoon will keep me late anyway…..

Thursday, October 10, 2013

sorry no blogging...just too busy i guess.

Well sorry I haven’t been blogging I have just been way too busy and will be today too anyway but it is the last day of the week so I thought I would try to get something out anyway….

Tuesday I went a meeting telling us about the changes to the intern program I am in and they are changing it to a three year with two year in a journeyman program.  But I have been in 5 years now and am expecting to get out…but I found out I am getting put in the journeyman program anyway and I am super pissed and depressed about it so I stayed home yesterday….but all day Tuesday I kept crying and just couldn’t hold back the tears….but yesterday I watched a lot of tv and tried not to think about it…but I have to tell you that this has severely hampered my motivation and enthusiasm for work…not that I had much to begin with but now I have absolutely none now…I am still not sleeping and this has just made it worse. I made an appt to see my psychiatrist for this Sunday to get a new sleeping pill….he should give me one this time I am hoping anyway….i am tired of laying there for hours every nite with my mind wandering to all the junk that depresses me…..i need to get some sleep.

Well I am supposed to be working on this report in the mornings but this morning I have no motivation to work on it at all….and this afternoon I gotta run an engine….i might come in for a few hours tomorrow to work on this report anyway. I am sure I will bump into my boss as I have been in on off Fridays now and then and he is usually here anyway.  All this stress and depression is making me sick to my stomach big time…and giving me diarrhea too…I know tmi……I am just not doing so good at all tummy troubles anxiety depression….it’s going to suck for a long time I am sure….

Well I just talked to my boss about this whole intern thing and he says it’s not about your time in but about your skills anyway….so he thinks I don’t have the skills I guess…but then he put me on a program that doesn’t have anything to work on my skills with…so I am just screwed big  time.  I am so unhappy right now and feel like crying again…I can’t take this …if I didn’t need this job I would have quit Tuesday….and I can’t find a new job as it would require us to move and I don’t want to displace my son again from school especially now that he is in high school anyway.  This place sucks the big one…..

Well so far no more fish have died since I did my big water change last week.  I am going to give it a couple more weeks and if no more die then I will get some more fish but I am only going to get small handfuls at a time and wait a week or two in between so I don’t over load the tank all at once and have more fish die on me anyway.  Though the last couple of days I haven’t really looked in there to count the fish I just look at the filter intake and make sure there are no dead fish stuck to it and so far there hasn’t been.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean none have died I guess.  The dead bodies could be elsewhere or eaten by the rest I guess…..

Well physical therapy did nothing for my feet and tendons.  But I have been on these amino acids that help produce collagen for a little over a week now and haven’t had any trouble with my feet or tendons.  It works better than a regular collagen supplement….and last weekend we went to the corn maze and it took us an hour to go through it and I had no pain or troubles what so ever.  I think it is even helping with my arthritis pain as well as I haven’t really had any in a while…the only thing I have been getting is stress headaches….which aren’t going away any time soon I don’t think.

Last week I ordered some trumpet snails and they were supposed to ship this Monday…well if they did they haven’t arrived yet.  I emailed the company at lunch and hope to hear from them soon anyway.  If they don’t send me my snails I want my money back….but really I really really want the snails….so they better give them to me…

Man I am so tired and in such a terrible mood I can’t stand it.  I gotta run an engine in a little bit and that will make the time go by somewhat….but I gotta pick my son up from club today so I can’t be here late and I can’t take a nap either…but I might take a nap anyway since it is the last day of the week….we’ll see I guess.  I can take a nap any time over the long weekend if I really want anyway.

Friday, October 4, 2013

finally friday at last

Well so far no more fish have died….i am happy about that. If they stay alive another few weeks I will get some more fish I guess.  I finally got those snails I wanted on order they are getting shipped Monday…50 Malaysian trumpet snails.  10 are going in with the other ones in the 10 gallon tank and the other 40 are going in the new tank with the new fish …. I tested the water last nite and everything is zero except phosphates they were 1 ppm…which is low….but to have no algae growing you have to have 10 nitrates for every one phosphate so that is why I am getting algae in there I have no nitrates right now. I will scrap it when I clean this weekend I guess.

Well last nite most of the stuff  I ordered the beginning of this week came…my new cigarette battery which I accidently left at home …the books I ordered my son came.  The amino acid supplements I ordered came.  Now I am just waiting on my smoke juice and my new sleep aid…which last nite I took some of my husband’s niquil and I feel asleep before 8 watching tv…nice and easy like and no restless leg.  When I got up to turn everything off I was able to go right back to sleep and no waking up or anything…it was nice…but I do feel a bit groggy today though but I am sure that will pass eventually anyway.  So I can’t wait for my Kirkland sleep aid to get here as it is the same antihistamine that is in niquil anyway.

Well it took me almost all morning but I finally got caught up on all the paper work I have to do for this project….now lunch is almost over with and we will be running soon then next week I will be swamped with more paper work….never ending…sighhh….

Me and my husband went to the bbq place and I had the slow roasted half chicken…that is so damn good…I can never eat 100 percent of it but I at least eat maybe 85 or 90 percent of it anyway.

Well today is a 3 oclock day so I might go home and take a nap today maybe….we’ll see I guess. Next week is a four day week with a four day weekend and I might take that next Monday off too to have a five day weekend maybe. We’ll see I guess.  But starting next week we go back to running regular hours instead of afternoons and overtime.  We gotta get started right around 7 so I will have to start getting to work on time I guess…that is going to suck…I don’t know if I can do it or not…..

yesterday's blog

Well I think it was Tuesday I did a 50 percent water change on my tank with all the new and dying fish in it.  So far I don’t think any more have died since then though this morning I couldn’t find two of neon tetras but I couldn’t find their bodies so I am hoping they are alive. I was googling a bit yesterday about what kind of fish I want to put in there if no one else dies in about a month.  The most affordable is red playies or cherry barbs.  And I will get more neon tetras too I think.  But I am not getting any more glo fish they are just not very hardy.  I only have 2 left and it cost me 70 bucks plus 30 shipping to get those fish…and they are only under a 5 day warranty which is far exceeded anyway. So I am pretty much out a 100 dollars anyway. I got my money back on the two that arrived dead….i should have expected something was wrong with them and that they would all die….but whatever.  I am ordering from a different company next time I think…unless I can find something small and colorful at the pet store anyway.  But usually they don’t have anything like that and if you want fish you have to go like Wednesday or Thursday because they get their shipments on Tuesday and by the weekend they are out of everything…..oh and I was finally able to order those Malaysian trumpet snails I have been wanting.  I made an account but it won’t let me put my state in so I can’t get pass the address page.  I emailed them and they went ahead and got me my order and I paid through paypal.  They are going to ship Monday.  10 will go in the 10 gallon where I have around 10 or 20 already…but mostly dead ones anyway there are shells everywhere in there.  Then the last of the 40 I will put in my 30 gallon tank with my new fish anyway.  I don’t know that they eat beard algae if they did I could buy some more and put them in my goldfish tank I guess.

Well I did a bit of work this morning and still have a ton to do and it is almost lunch time…..and then after lunch I gotta run an engine so I guess I won’t get the rest of this crap done till tomorrow morning anyway.  I really gotta get some time to rework this report…my boss didn’t like it at all and I got together with my lead engineer and he told me what all to put in there and it is a lot….but running engines every day and doing all the paper work involved keeps me busy 100 percent of the time and I haven’t had one moment to work on this report.  I asked a couple of people if they can run the testing next week so I can do this report but I haven’t heard back from them yet…if they can’t do it then I am going to have to go to my boss and have him work out my priorities I guess.  I really don’t want to come in overtime to work on it but if that is what I have to do then oh-well I guess.

I am just so burnt out being super busy day and nite for three weeks now and working overtime.  I almost didn’t come in today anyway….and I still got tomorrow to go….sighhhhh… weekend is a 4 day weekend and I am thinking about also taking the 15th off so I can have a 5 day weekend and maybe get the house cleaned up a bit.  The bathrooms are overdue for a cleaning and the floors have spots all over them…the trouble is I have wood floors and I am not sure what to clean them with…you aren’t supposed to use regular bucket of soap and water as it will warp the wood…I know there are specific cleaners for wood floors ….i guess I should run out and see what I can find.  I also heard that those steam mops are okay for wood floors as well….maybe I will get one of those…

I am just so tired I am not sleeping well at all still.  It’s been like a month now.  I was thinking about trying to get back in to see my psychiatrist and see if he will change my meds after all….but I am not sure.  Last time I was there he wrote my meds for 90 days and no refills…sometimes he does that but the pharmacy only fills 30 days and gives me refills…this time they gave me 90 days worth with no refills…one of my meds is three pills a day you should see the size of the bottle they are in…’s ridiculous.  They gave me 90 days worth of anxiety meds but only 30 days of sleeping pills…what is up with that???????? You can OD on anxiety meds just as easily as sleeping pills….that confuses me……

Nearly lunch time.  Today is the company picnic but I am not going I hate company functions there is just too maybe people there I don’t know….but one of my mechanics might go and if so then we won’t be running this afternoon I guess. We’ll see I suppose.  I almost hope we don’t run this afternoon I need a break…..and I am almost wanting the government shutdown to happen so maybe I can get a couple of weeks off from here.  Not that we can afford it but I am dying here.  We get to work till the capital fund runs out whenever that may be anyway.  But from what I hear we will get back pay from the days we didn’t work anyway.  So if we dip into savings we will get back anyway.

Oh man I got ketchup and mustard on my pants at lunch today…I don’t have time to go home and change otherwise I would.  Almost the whole building is out to the picnic this afternoon.  But none of my people went so we will be starting up running around 1230 anyway.  I just gotta make it through one more day…I think I can I think I can I think I can.  I did some quick rough estimate on how long it takes to process 4 engines and it is about 46 hours…on long weeks we are only here for 44 hours and on short weeks we are only here 36 hours…..and the end user wants us to run 4 engines a week…I don’t see that happening….and I know I can’t keep that pace up week after week after week.  I don’t know what I am going to do….i am just all around not happy about this whole thing anyway….right now we are working about 7 hours a day running engines and I spend all morning doing paper work and we are only getting 3 engines out a week.  So far this week we have only finished two engines and are starting a third one this afternoon but it won’t be done by the end of the day tomorrow I am pretty sure.  We’ll see though I guess.  I am just so tired and unmotivated I have been on the go since I got put on this project three weeks ago….and I still have this stupid report I got to write and I never have time for it….this job sucks ass….

I am getting a headache already….i have been getting them on and off for a few weeks now.  But this time it is not from a sinus infection…my sinuses are finally doing okay. These are stress headaches for sure. Piercing just behind my eyes and in my temples.  I am not going to make it through the end of this year I can tell already.  The girl who was doing this project was gone for months and just came back sometime last week…but she is on another project now.  Everyone keeps saying that this test drove her out of here…which I can believe anyway.  It’s so tedious and has so much work involved…I liked my other projects better they were fully automated and all you had to do was be there to get them going in case something went wrong…but once they were going they were good and if something went wrong in the middle of the test it shut itself down.  But none of the rest of the building is like that at all….

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

sighhhh....i just can't take it here much longer....

Well shit I haven’t had these fish long and already they are dying of by droves… I have 2 glo light fish down from 8 which would have been 10 but two died in transit.  I should have 11 neon tetras…only 1 maybe 2 of those.  And all three golden white cloughs are still alive at least. I think I am going to do some major over hauling on my tank either tonite or this weekend anyway.  I think I can temporarily put them all in the 10 gallon anyway then back again….and if they keep dropping like flies again I don’t know what to do…fish are too expensive to keep buying all the damn time…I am so frustrated by that.

I worked overtime last nite and still got to on Wednesday too…I guess since we are considered NAWC we keep getting paid out of the capital fund so we can keep working until that runs out or a budget agreement is made.  Which I hope they get their crap together and get a budget going anyway.

Man last nite I did not fall sleep till way after midnite and still got up at 530…I thought it was 630 so I actually go to work on time today : ) maybe I will try that again

Damn I am feeling frustrated and tired and I want to cry.  The intern program I am on is getting shortened in nov but I still can’t get out of it without my paper work which I never have time to work on. And I got this huge report I have to go back and basically redo and I don’t have time for that either.  And next week we are going back to all day runs instead of just in the afternoons anyway.  I asked my boss if I can take some time out from running engines to try and get this stuff done but I don’t know what he is going to say….oh great now I am getting chest  pains….i can’t deal with this I hate being so overwhelmed by stuff…. My throat is tight like I am going to break out crying any min….i just want to go home and not come back for a week or something anyway….and I gotta work overtime tomorrow too…..i am so tired and frustrated and just want to go home and cry…..this place sucks ass…..

A few people at my work have has spouses that have had to go home today due to the government shutdown…I just hope it doesn’t last long anyway.  We get paid via the capital fund and I heard today it can last 4-6 weeks so I am hoping they will get it together before then anyway…we’ll see. If I am out of work for over a week I can get unemployment but it takes two weeks to get the check for that…and it won’t be near enough as what I make now but some is better than none I guess….i can’ take this stress at all…..

I would take a nap today but I gotta pick my son up from club this afternoon…if he goes…I am pretty sure he will but you never know I guess…it just depends on what kind of day he had I guess.  We bought a wii u last nite for the kidz they like it so far…I didn’t like the regular wii so I am sure I won’t like this one either…’s too hard to control a controller without it being plugged in with buttons anyway.

Monday, September 30, 2013

sorry no posts today it's beeh hectic to say the least

It's like midnite right now and I can't sleep.  this whole work garbage is getting to me big time.  I worked overtime tonite and will Wednesday too,  I just hope that is the end of it anyway.  there really isn't much on my mind but it is going over it and over even though I made a list.  I might not get to post tomorrow either but we will see anyway.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

man one hell of a crazy day!!!!!

Well I worked overtime last nite. we were done around 630 and  I was home just before 7 since I had to go all the way over to gate one and then back to my house anyway.  We didn’t get too much done as we couldn’t start running till 1 in the afternoon and I didn’t want to be here past 7 at all so I said where ever we are at 6 will depend on how much we get done….so we only got three runs in instead of 4….but I don’t give a rats ass…we will probly get it finished up today sometime around 5 anyway but I don’t have to stay for that…I need to leave right at 4 to go get my son from club today anyway.

Man the other day I lost a cigarette battery and yesterday when I came in to work I found in the parking lot all dented up and the light cap was popped out. At first I just chalked it off to being broken but at lunch I picked it up anyway and popped the light cap back on and took it home.  When I put it in the charger the lights came on like it was charging so I think maybe it will still work.  I will try it out later anyway…just to get by I bought a disposable cigarette on the way to work yesterday so I am going to smoke that till it is empty then go back to my regular one anyway.

I have been running around here like a chicken with my head cut off for two weeks now and I am already starting to get burned out. My boss wants me to add a bunch of stuff in my report that is going to take me a while to do and right now the only times I have to work on it is in the mornings this week and next week and not even then really as I am doing leg work for my new project anyway so I have no idea when I am going to  get this report up to speed anyway.  I am super unhappy right now…

And I can’t sleep for crap….the new dose of my seroquel makes me tired enough at bed time but my mind is just all over the place I can’t fall asleep at all for hours….and then I wake up in the nite still too.  Last nite I woke up a bunch of times in the nite but the nite before that I only woke up once anyway and same with the nite before that one too….i am just getting so wiped out I can’t take it.  I don’t know how long I can go on like this anyway….it’s going to kill me for sure.

Oh yesterday was my last physical therapy appt….it was just supposed to be a re-eval but they made me exercise and stretch too…I wasn’t happy about that.  But at least I don’t have to ride that lame-o bike again….i have to ride it for 10 mins and they want me to do 50 rmp on level 2 but I just can’t swing it and yesterday was the worst I think I only did about 40 rpm average so a bit less here and there and bit more here and there anyway.  But I can say it didn’t do much for me though. I still have stiffness in my Achilles tendons…..but at this point I don’t care much with this new project I am on I can’t miss two hours of work three times a week anymore.  Plus that it eats up my saved up hours too….and with this new project I am on I am not doing much but sitting all day anyway…so whatever I guess.

I talked to the facilities manager yesterday and he said the heat is on now but it’s only 66 ….so it is going to be one hell of a cold winter. I think next week I will pull out my heavy coat.  But today is the last day of the week anyway so I am happy about that…I hope tomorrow I can sleep in a few hours….that will be nice….but I go back to the orthopedist tomorrow too….i am not sure if I am going to tell him that therapy worked or not….we’ll see…he might want me to go back or something….but he diagnosed me with tendonitis and that is not what I have … I have something called equinus…. I think I need to find another dr who can diagnose me correctly I guess.  There is a surgery for it and it is an in and out surgery and you can walk on your feet the same day.  They just go in and make some length wise slits in your tendons to make them stretchier anyway.  Not that I want surgery but if that works then let’s do I guess….

Oh….well several months ago someone stole my thermo couple from my desk and I still haven’t gotten it back yet.  I got a new one yesterday and I zip tied the plug on to the power strip.  But if someone really wanted to take it they could just cut the zip ties but I am hoping that will just be deterrent enough to keep them away anyway.  So right now it is only 69 in here….once it gets in the 30s outside it won’t be much more than 60 in here I am sure….i just can’t handle that….i don’t know what I am going to do…and today it is pretty cold outside as well maybe 65 I am not really sure.  It feels like it is 65 in here right now though. It is just so cold.  I am freezing to death.  This sucks…

I am freezing and getting a headache and I am totally not in the mood to be here right now and I got a shit ton of junk I gotta get started on for the day and have only done one thing so far. It is 830 now….my lead engineer is reading over my test report right now then we are going to get together to discuss it…..

Oh man there may possibly be a government shutdown oct 1st.  we got some guidance about it but ummm we are considered NAWC so we can continue to work till the capital fund runs out anyway.  So I guess I can hope the government gets their shit together before that happens but we’ll see I guess.  I have no idea how long the capital fund could last for anyway…a month two months????? I just don’t know.

Well earlier  this morning I sent an email intended for my husband to my boss on accident…I was saying that I had a shit ton of stuff I still need to put in my test report…my boss emailed me back saying that made his day and he liked my unit of measurement ‘shit ton’ lol so no biggy I guess all is well.  At least it didn’t say anything bad or anything anyway.

Lunch is over with and someone else is going to run engines this afternoon so I can work on my report… that is good but I will need much longer than the mornings next week to work on it. I will see if I can get people to cover for me in the mornings for the next few weeks and then maybe I can get this done anyway.  I went over my report with my lead engineer this morning and he told me a bunch of stuff I need to put in there…it’s going to take a while anyway.  I only got about half the stuff I wanted to get done this morning…so I am not sure if I am going to finish that list up or actually work on my report…I really don’t know….